Ally’s feelings pre-mission [guaranteed to make you cry].

I am leaving on a mission in a few days and I will be gone for 18 months and I am terrified and excited and nervous and ready all at the same time. Most importantly though, I know I am supposed to be doing this. I know with more surety than I have felt for anything else in my life that this is what I am supposed to be doing for the next year and a half. I know I need to meet and teach people in the Colorado Fort Collins mission. I know that i and my family will be changed forever by this journey. I know that this mission will be exhausting and emotionally draining and disappointing a lot of the time but I also know that I will be so happy. I know that although will only get to talk to my family on the phone twice during this mission that I will feel more connected to them than ever before because of prayer and spirit and weekly emails. I know that although I still ache that my mom has been gone for the last 8 years, that I will feel more connected to her at this time in my life than ever before. l know that this mission will require everything of me. I need to leave everything behind and give all of myself to this mission, but I also know as I do that God will strengthen my efforts and help me help His children. I know that right now I cannot speak a single phrase of spanish but if God wants me to learn spanish in six weeks, then I will learn spanish in 6 weeks. I know that leaving behind my friends and my family and my schooling, while really hard, is so worth it because I will change for the better. I know that I will grow and become so much more than what I am now. I know I will become closer to God and Jesus Christ as I teach others about them. i know that I will have peace when tragedy strikes or I get caught without an umbrella or I just really miss Tiffany’s cooking. I know that I will be terrified as I step onto that plane and say goodbye to the life I have right now, but I also know that this life was given to me so I could serve God. So tumblr, here is what I am saying to you but mostly to myself: I am ready. I am ready to serve God with all my might, mind and strength. I am ready to put this life on hold for a little bit. I am ready to put others’ needs before my own. I am ready to say goodbye to tv, cell phones, the internet, movies and so much more because this mission is so much bigger than that petty sacrifice. Goodbye internet. I am leaving you behind to embrace a much better chapter of my life.

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